I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
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