I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
