how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
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