i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
