Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
