Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
