I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
You took a bar mat shot.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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