She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
