trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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