I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Randomize
