White coat. Heels.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
