My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
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