i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
