You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize