office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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