Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
