why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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