hell yes lets make some ravioli
I think my vagina is haunted
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
