i would punch a child for taco bell
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Just cropdusted the office
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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