Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
