I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I will be naked everywhere
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
