If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
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