I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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