I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
