Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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