hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
