I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
