If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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