if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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