I'm so fucking centered right now
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
