After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
