Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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