Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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