I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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