We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
