Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
