You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Randomize
