I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
