But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
