Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
