What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
