it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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