And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Randomize
