Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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