She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
