You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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