Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Randomize
