it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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