i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize