WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Randomize
