Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
