I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
