Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
