Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
