Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize