So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
