how can u be prego again
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
