He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
