Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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