I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
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