Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
