I can't breathe out the right side of my face
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
