I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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