Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
